my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
