You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize