How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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