Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
