Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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