the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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