please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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