Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
