I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize