i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
