Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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