exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i drank out of a bidet.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
