Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do vagina's smell?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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