ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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