Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
