Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize