mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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