He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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