I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
