very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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