Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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