What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
