Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
