Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im holly from the hills drunk
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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