So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The Olympian is in my bed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
