I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
wow bdsm is so cute
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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