This is not my ceiling
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
