Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
