She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
