I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
