The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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