is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
