I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
