When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My vagina is very pro this idea
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
