don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
