I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
