My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
