You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
