i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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