Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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