Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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