i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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