Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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