Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
