we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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