what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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