It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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