I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
