I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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