like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize