bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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