I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
