VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
