guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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