she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
