i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
