Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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