Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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