marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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