I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
