I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
