There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize