Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
