thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
