pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
