I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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