Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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