Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
