She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
