my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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