Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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