i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
