so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I cannot find my penis.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
